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Why would I trust you again? I’m not going to make things worse for myself.”“I get that” she replied “But you admit I’ve kept my word, right? I did what I promised, even if it wasn’t what you hoped for”.I wondered if I was falling for the same thing a second time as I reluctantly nodded.“So, how about this, after today, if you go along with what I want, I promise to never show anything I have on you to anyone. I’ll keep it all as private as I can! I won’t show it to people you know, people you don’t know, or anyone. It’ll just be for me! Then this whole thing goes away and we don’t even have to talk about it again unless you want to bring it up.”“I won’t!” I told her, “But I don’t want to give you an endless session to keep piling things on me until I reach my breaking point. I’ll give you 5 minutes, then we’re done!”“Heh, I can’t do 5 minutes. How about 3 hours?”We dickered back and forth until we finally agreed on 30 minutes, here in her apartment, that we wouldn’t leave and no one. I always said to myself that, no matter what, I would not let this relationship go anywhere beyond “playmates.” Believe me, I had to remind myself of this constantly.I might have resisted successfully, had not things been taken out of my hands.We had a low-key celebration of Beth’s seventeenth birthday. Her parents had given her an envelope and told her not to open it until her birthday. It had five hundred dollars in it. She asked to borrow the car and went off to spend her money. Mandy said she was going to lie out in the sun and I got some work done.I had finished my work and was jumping rope, in my never ending attempt to keep the voluminous amounts of alcohol that I consumed from reaching my waistline, when Mandy came in. She just sat in a chair and watched me.I tried to keep going, partly because she made me nervous, partly simply to show off, and partly because I felt guilty for wanting to show off for a barely-sixteen year old girl. She didn’t get up or interrupt me. She just.
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